She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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