The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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