For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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