Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think my moral compass just broke
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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