Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
