"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize