Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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