Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My vagina is officially offended.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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