i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
