Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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