This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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