Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
