One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
