Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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