Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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