It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize