i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
