what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
