think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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