My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
