I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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