Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex

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(419): View more from Ohio

A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man

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(925): View more from California

We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"

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(310): View more from California

I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland

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