Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
