"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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