dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Can I color on your dick again?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
