Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
