One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
