apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
