I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
