god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
