I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
