that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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