so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have post one night stand depression
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize