My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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