The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Found your dick twin last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
