I look better un-naked...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
