I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just want to make out with him forever
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize