I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can you bring me the toilet please
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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