Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
