do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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