My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
