I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
