first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
