I want to stick my p in your. b.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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