im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
