Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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