Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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