he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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