I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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