yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize