He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
