I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize