it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize