There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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