Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I had to cum in my sink.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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