I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
