Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize